Dont u ever ever utter those words again!

NEVER EVER LOSE FAITH!

You hold the keys to ur life in YOUR hands.

Plz dont tell me otherwise. Cuz thats how it is. You work with what uve got and somehow somewhere sometime everything will fall into place.

“You hold the keys to ur life in YOUR hands.”

Shopa knows what I mean ;p (hahahahaha)

First: SATC.

In a few ways, the character of Carrie Bradshaw has a bit in common with many of us women. But only a bit. She annoyed the hell out of me as well, because she was a dumbass who engaged in some pretty sleazy and crass behavior, conveying that it was excusable for other women to do so as long as they looked slim, cool and chic in their Manolos like she was (I love Manolo Blahnik shoes BTW, moo bes intay Shopaholic ;P). Her unreal life and her lame screwups made her a bit of a cheapy but attractively glossy and shiny role model for women looking for more in their lives. To me, her character sent out a convoluted and confusing message to the women who watched - as did all those female characters on the show. Not everything gets to work out happily in the end with rich Mr. Hotshot Big coming to sweep you away to his hideaway in Napa Valley after finally experiencing the miraculous epiphany that you are the woman for him, not everyone gets to find a soulmate or a 15 years younger gorgeous model dude boyfriend who has hot sex with them constantly and loves them through breast cancer for the real woman that they are. I mean Carrie turned down a GOOD and DECENT, CLEAN, KIND, and LOVING man who wanted a REAL life and family with her… What a dumbass. What a message. Thank God he found the woman for him in the end. All those girls on the show represented general and vague archetypes of most modern women (the slut, the girl next door, the virginal one, the ballbreaker) who build and have careers, and share the same hopes, worries, and dreams. But they were not real. They were fantasized amalgams that pooled all the common characteristics and experiences women have, into a glossed over commercial product. SATC makes real issues real women have like breast cancer, getting older, single motherhood, the search for a mate and infertility look glamorous, desirable and chic. How presumptuous and arrogant. It feeds a false sense of everything is going to be right as rain and will happen the way you want it to somehow, in the end as you stumble about. In reality, it might, it might not, there is no guarantee and you should not expect that there will be one for sure. Hope, be full of hope, but do not lie to yourself.

SATC had many good points but many detrimental and destructive ones that helped to sell women a load of pseudo-escapist baloney and bull. I apologize for my perhaps harsh criticism, but I am just tired of being sold commercial fantasies that everything can be all glowy and perfect for women if they just hold out, wait and look really good while doing it. That they should have their head in the clouds and dream these impossible dreams ALL THE TIME that will somehow find them. That there is a certain lifestyle and dream that they should be pursuing and expecting it will be there in all it’s glory. Doing so is okay for a teenager or a woman in her early 20’s, but not a woman in her 30’s. Please believe I say this from personal hard experience Shopa. I deeply believe women can greatly benefit from each other’s experiences and share much knowledge and wisdom to help each other because we have to struggle more than men do for what we want. I used to be a fan and watched every show of every season TWICE some years ago, because I too, wanted to identify with other women going through similar issues as I was. Now SATC just turns me off because I think it sells women this glamorous fantasy peppered with a dash of realism and complex issues so that it is believable and most of all, profitable.

(I miss the old naive and perky me.. SIGH )

Second:

See, Shopa sweetie, we all lose faith in ourselves and who we are as women and as people at different times in our lives for many reasons. It’s part of the journey to the dark side we have to take in order to come back to the light. Ain’t no ying without the yang, they both are the driving forces for each other. Grieving the loss or end of something or someone is painful and messy. But it has to happen. There is no dark without the light. You lost someone you had hopes and dreams for as all of us women do to different degrees. You are entitled to and should be pissed off. Your faith in yourself and others will return in bits, your hope will be restored because the good is always intertwined with the bad. But it will return as the wiser more experienced kind, the kind that has all sorts of smarts and complex wisdom written all over it, the faith and hopes of a woman who has grown and developed through suffering and surviving. And those, my dear, dear Shopa, are the deeper, richer, and far more empowering and powerful kinds to have as a woman.

They are the kinds that are REAL.

Your catharsis and agony are not wasted and meaningless sweetie, you will see, one day you will see :*