After a Break-up, many of us feel as if we are not ready to start something new. We often say phrases like “It’s still way too early”, or “I am not ready, I just got out of something”, or even “I need some time alone”. If a “break-up” means the relationship got broken up aka is over, what is it that keeps us from starting something new right away? Why is time so important after a break-up? I couldn’t stop wondering, do we really need a time off between relationships? Or do we just need the time in hope that it is not over?
I confess! Almost one year after a break-up, guilt made its way inside of me while getting to know someone new. It felt as if I was cheating! Yet I wasn’t. Or maybe I was? Maybe I was cheating myself for almost a year not wanting to believe it was really over?
This made me think that what we really need is to set some kind of a “After Break-Up Rules”. And sine we love having what so called “time” in everything that has to do with relationships, maybe our first “After A Break-Up Rule” should be a time oriented rule.
After a break-up we should all follow what I like to call “The 2 Day Rule”. We are allowed to be hanged over by a relationship for only two days during which we can be sad, cry our eyes out, listen to love songs and endlessly nag about our EXs to our loyal girlfriends. When the clock ticks ending the two day period, we should stop. We should get a hold of our lives back and get back on track. Two days after a break-up and then we may meet new people, flirt, and go out on dates. There should be no feeling of guilt whatsoever. After all, life goes indifferent to whether it was after two days or two decades.
two days is too short.
After a breakup you should not be thinking I need someone else sooner or later. Just live normally
I think a break is required bas also some of us girls tend to go down this spiral of guilt as you mentioned OOOORRRRR develop this hate for men e7em e7em that’s hard to avoid and it’s becomes so hard to let anyone new in you know.. it’s not upto the girl alone, a guy has to be smart to win her heart over
One thing u should have in mind after a breakup is the other side suffering as you are now? does he/she thinking of you the way you are thinking about them ? or they moved on like nothing happened ?
if they moved on then you should do the same as well
The time in between relationships is not cuz ur in denial and deep down inside u think ur gonna get back together. Hell no !
Reasons are :
- to get ur priorities straight
- to analyse what went wrong
- what mistakes u made
- what mistakes the other party made
- how u can stop urself from making the same wrong choices/decisions in the future
- to build up ur inner peace (serenity) ;P
- to let ur wounds heal, ur ego, ur self esteem…all that was damaged during and leading up to the dreaded ‘Break Up’
- to realise that being single and away from that person isnt the end of the world and that its great fun being single and free!
That said….dont make the mistake of thinking that all the above are only possible while wallowing in bed listening to sad songs and crying….bil 3aks….u can do all these things…and enjoy ur own company….ur friends company….doing the things u love…basically enjoying ur life
….BUT……
AWAY FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX
Why u ask ?
Because if u get back into the game too soon, the chances that u will make the same mistake(s) are very very very highly likely.
I know what ur gonna say…..”Nooooo im not gonna get into anything serious….its just a little harmless flirtation”
Theres no such thing as harmless flirtation !!! One thing always leads to another !!!
AAAAAAHHHH
La tkhaleeeeni ayeee baitkom o azni6ich !!
Shopa!
i cant even comment i will be too biased !
“i can see why you are my best buddy” !!!!!!
for this piece i say ::
i love you i love you i love you and i am so on with the rule
Zaboo6a:
most of the times the break-up comes from their actions or sayings,, if they were to suffer wouldnt it be better to call up and fix things rather than mourn it!!!!
Delicately:
trust me in some situations THERE IS “strictly flirtation only” cos WE are the ones who decide if it should go further than that or not… thats my opinion from my humble experience
hmm just stay alive..and do what u feel like doing lool
Good luck with a 2 - Day Rule. I think it just takes what it takes. We need time to gather up the shattered pieces, figuring out which pieces are mine and which are his and which are circumstantial, sorting through those pieces (as DR said, giving it some thought and evaluation.)
When you can hear a song (any song!) without falling apart again, then you are ready for the next relationship.
The break-ups teach us a lot about ourselves, and what we DON’T want. They make us better, stronger. Give yourself time to heal, to reintegrate.
Interesting - a serious response from Purg.
two days is waay to short. A week might be good, but it also depends on how close the ppl where to each other.
I hereby issue the following decree:
This 2 day rule will from now on be known as, The Shopa Rule.
Wa Salamatkom.